As time goes by, it is natural for things between people in a relationship to feel dull more often. In most cases, the one who is the first one to notice this is at times reluctant to say anything about it in fear of coming off as the one who got bored. More often than not, they decide to take the safer route and stay quiet about it, hoping that their partner will get the hint or start having the same feeling. The worst part of this “safer route” is that one can do nothing rather than reminisce on the days that were when they were fresh into the relationship.
Why Do The Sparks Fade?
Couples losing their chemistry is brought about by many different causes, subject to the dynamics of their relationships. Some of the most common reasons many couples the world over, regardless of race or country, include: lack of quality time together and long distances.
Being unable to find time can be thought of as the root of most relationships that lose the spark. This lack of time can come in the form of conflicting work schedules, not making time for activities that defined them as a couple, and not being present and in the moment when they are together.
Other reasons for the sparks to fade include bottling up feelings of dissatisfaction and anger, keeping secrets from each other, giving unwarranted criticism over the little things, and not prioritizing quality self-time and space. Despite all these reasons at play to make sure the spark remains in hibernation mode, it can be rekindled and bring the relationship back to its original glory.
Speak Out Those Feelings
Couples need to understand what it means to be loved both at an individual and couple level. With this understanding, they are well equipped to make sound decisions regarding how they choose to express their love to their partners and how they would like it done to them. Having a partner who understands what one appreciates and defines as “being loved right” can make a couple hold on to their spark.
Couples should make it a necessity to be present and in the moment whenever they are together. Achieving this involves setting up rules such as keeping your phones away, both at the self and couple level. Having such a setup would ensure that one both gives and receives a hundred percent from the time spent together as a couple. Giving each other maximum attention whenever together can have couples feeling secure, validated, and appreciated in the relationship.
Fight the Problem, and Not Each Other
Unfortunately, differences and conflict are a recurring reality in relationships, and there is no running away from that. Combining your efforts to tackle and sort out a problem is better than thinking that the partner or the relationship is the problem. Whenever a couple gets to a point when they are at odds, they need to be aware that they are on the same team. Being on the same team as a couple in times of conflict, even if it’s something that they both have to make a stand on, helps keep things sane.
Establish a Safe Space for Self-Expression
Be it an extra room in the house or a hotel room, couples need to have a space in which is solely dedicated to settling differences. This should be away from the everyday environment, and the couple should work to make it non-judgemental where one can freely express what’s on their mind.
Spend Time Together Among Your Friends
Being together as a couple with friends helps strengthen the bond of a couple. This is because one gets to see their partner from other people’s eyes, which makes them appreciate their traits more. Spending time as a couple among friends also gives the couple a chance to bond as they debrief how the experience was. In this debrief time, one is likely to pick up on things they didn’t notice during the time out with friends since they would be looking at the experience from their partner’s perspective.
Frequently Talk About Sex
The fact that a couple is heavily emotionally invested in the relationship does not need to take away from the relationship’s physical elements. Even if one is not able to have sex as regularly as they’d want to, having some naughty conversations with their partner is one sure to keep the spark alive. They could even speak with a Sexologist to get more details on how to talk about sex. It is said that hunger is the best spice, and a couple that keeps on building their sexual hunger by regularly flirting is sure to have boosted satisfaction whenever they get to have sex.
Get Out of Their Comfort Zone and Explore Together
This may come in the form of exploring whatever gets them going in the bedroom or actual physical exploration of traveling together. Experiencing new things and places together as a couple gives a sense of comfort in the fact that you get to do it together. A couple who gets to have a foreign culture’s experience together gets to have a sense of belonging to each other, growing their bond tighter.
Take Part in Partner Projects or Activities
This can be in the form of working out together, building a DIY project, or even just reading a collection of books as a couple. Other than the sense of accountability and commitment it creates to the relationship’s goals and each other, doing things together gives a couple of time to spend with each other and grows their bond.
Whatever the trouble may be, that’s causing the sparks to fade, or they are just dying a natural death; there is always room for getting things back to how they were. Good communication and proper understanding of each other is all it takes to have a couple make every day their best day.